weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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