There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
