Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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