his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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