I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
