I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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