so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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