What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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