ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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