Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize