You really coming over, don't trick.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
