More tranny stories later!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.