he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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