Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test

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(510): View more from California

The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(650): View more from California

at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.

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(269): View more from Michigan

just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them

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(313): View more from Michigan

Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.

(248): View more from Michigan

Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.

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