Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
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she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
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He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!