Yo dont text me then not text me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...