Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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  (949): Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off. http://tfl.nu/n7xz
  Replies (18) Good night (658) Bad night (4749)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...

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  (631): Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit... http://tfl.nu/oz8a
  Replies (11) Good night (4888) Bad night (1475)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

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  (503): Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/p6bz
  Replies (15) Good night (8182) Bad night (1217)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

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  (253): Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand http://tfl.nu/sefe
  Replies (6) Good night (1370) Bad night (1273)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard

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  (519): You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard http://tfl.nu/bgm2
  Replies (7) Good night (2463) Bad night (775)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.

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  (518): He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on. http://tfl.nu/jgdt
  Replies (6) Good night (3148) Bad night (598)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.

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  (316): You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are. http://tfl.nu/chox
  Replies (23) Good night (1475) Bad night (554)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.

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  (303): Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night? (1-303): Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/jufi
  Replies (4) Good night (968) Bad night (434)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.

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  (816): Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines. http://tfl.nu/u22h
  Replies (1) Good night (1366) Bad night (540)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.

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  (970): From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick. http://tfl.nu/h7vg
  Replies (13) Good night (2621) Bad night (622)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...

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  (571): She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance... http://tfl.nu/5je2
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (848)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.

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  (757): According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home. http://tfl.nu/o9bo
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (349)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats

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  (717): I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats http://tfl.nu/ivyy
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (565)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.

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  (570): I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now. http://tfl.nu/p9px
  Replies (1) Good night (251) Bad night (519)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.

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  (517): Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line. http://tfl.nu/nb9z
  Replies (1) Good night (434) Bad night (394)

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