I'm lost and stupid without you.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
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Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
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I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.