Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  he broke up with me so i peed in his bed

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  (503): he broke up with me so i peed in his bed http://tfl.nu/g0ev
  Replies (15) Good night (2854) Bad night (1036)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.

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  (401): i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop. http://tfl.nu/anbh
  Replies (34) Good night (2050) Bad night (4641)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas

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  (512): Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas http://tfl.nu/5abk
  Replies (22) Good night (8329) Bad night (1143)
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  (961): View more from

  I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit

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  (961): I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit http://tfl.nu/r0do
  Replies (28) Good night (7721) Bad night (1728)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks

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  (262): The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks http://tfl.nu/b2le
  Replies (25) Good night (6483) Bad night (1124)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.

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  (902): I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying. http://tfl.nu/q9vl
  Replies (14) Good night (4512) Bad night (1045)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag

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  (902): Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag http://tfl.nu/er8z
  Replies (5) Good night (872) Bad night (1139)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.

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  (914): Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition. http://tfl.nu/iv4o
  Replies (20) Good night (2837) Bad night (823)
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  (805): View more from California

  Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life

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  (805): Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life http://tfl.nu/5728
  Replies (3) Good night (1435) Bad night (483)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I had a salad today

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies

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  (978): When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one (847): I had a salad today (978): Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies http://tfl.nu/rhtj
  Replies (2) Good night (998) Bad night (583)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.

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  (843): In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight. http://tfl.nu/6bps
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (426)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions

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  (979): Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions http://tfl.nu/nh9u
  Replies (3) Good night (305) Bad night (468)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.

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  (907): You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me. http://tfl.nu/qzmr
  Replies (6) Good night (1402) Bad night (478)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.

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  (609): I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs. http://tfl.nu/0efw
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (330)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...

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  (330): Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night... http://tfl.nu/aq2u
  Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (355)

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