there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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