on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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