Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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