He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
