But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
