I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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