omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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