I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
