Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you win again, gameday.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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