I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
