5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
