Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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  (212): I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight http://tfl.nu/y0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (1029) Bad night (586)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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  (416): I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey http://tfl.nu/3mx1
  Replies (14) Good night (1254) Bad night (538)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck

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  (732): no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck http://tfl.nu/y61e
  Replies (35) Good night (979) Bad night (6201)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

  (214): View more from Texas

  What? They have three kids?

  (512): View more from Texas

  Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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  (512): So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married (214): What? They have three kids? (512): Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me http://tfl.nu/93bk
  Replies (20) Good night (823) Bad night (6026)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls

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  (330): Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls http://tfl.nu/m4sw
  Replies (22) Good night (774) Bad night (3813)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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  (305): she said she was living bicuriously through me. http://tfl.nu/luix
  Replies (14) Good night (3939) Bad night (894)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.

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  (870): Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl. http://tfl.nu/m2u6
  Replies (21) Good night (2431) Bad night (610)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Figured I'd get right to the point

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  (215): My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up." (1-215): Figured I'd get right to the point http://tfl.nu/wgkv
  Replies (8) Good night (811) Bad night (1492)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.

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  (506): Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/xgvx
  Replies (8) Good night (622) Bad night (1153)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"

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  (907): We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!" http://tfl.nu/scid
  Replies (12) Good night (1448) Bad night (763)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.

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  (770): He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits. http://tfl.nu/4emx
  Replies (11) Good night (476) Bad night (1891)
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  (914): View more from New York

  It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.

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  (914): It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup. http://tfl.nu/9ulw
  Replies (7) Good night (460) Bad night (1942)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.

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  (309): I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina. http://tfl.nu/4eep
  Replies (1) Good night (574) Bad night (223)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'd cum for enchiladas.

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  (850): I'd cum for enchiladas. http://tfl.nu/lnb5
  Replies (2) Good night (505) Bad night (252)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.

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  (502): It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other. http://tfl.nu/y1nx
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (186)

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