Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?

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  (770): Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette? http://tfl.nu/jrlp
  Replies (88) Good night (1429) Bad night (10534)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore

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  (410): I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore http://tfl.nu/l2tw
  Replies (33) Good night (921) Bad night (2321)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island

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  (508): Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island http://tfl.nu/2xq2
  Replies (5) Good night (3528) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing

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  (260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian? (1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing http://tfl.nu/axih
  Replies (51) Good night (18389) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up

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  (785): i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up http://tfl.nu/4wl0
  Replies (10) Good night (4816) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.

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  (405): You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts. http://tfl.nu/ijh6
  Replies (14) Good night (4504) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.

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  (630): I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job. http://tfl.nu/iztl
  Replies (7) Good night (4085) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?

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  (828): If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me? http://tfl.nu/3q2x
  Replies (5) Good night (2504) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.

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  (610): 90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you. http://tfl.nu/qiqv
  Replies (6) Good night (2065) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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  (850): Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list. http://tfl.nu/5auq
  Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.

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  (406): Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan. http://tfl.nu/6agv
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Would you like season tickets to my vagina?

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  (502): Would you like season tickets to my vagina? http://tfl.nu/fkgh
  Replies (12) Good night (1737) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.

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  (636): She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet. http://tfl.nu/ogh1
  Replies (5) Good night (1064) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.

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  (303): There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade. http://tfl.nu/4krw
  Replies (1) Good night (578) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  "There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."

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  (716): "There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days." http://tfl.nu/ks69
  Replies (7) Good night (543) Bad night (339)

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