im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.