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• (905): View more from Toronto

  I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"

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• (813): View more from Florida

  she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.

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• (650): View more from California

  you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (716): View more from New York

  the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..

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• (415): View more from California

  Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  If those panties could talk.

  (407): View more from Florida

  "Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."

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