Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum