Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me

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(813): View more from Florida

Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

(1-225): View more from Louisiana

whats a bus flip?

(225): View more from Louisiana

idk but apparently i invented it

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.

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(703): View more from Virginia

He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream

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