Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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  (570): Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning? http://tfl.nu/o1k1
  Replies (39) Good night (4049) Bad night (1732)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

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  (865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010. http://tfl.nu/w6c7
  Replies (11) Good night (5944) Bad night (650)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

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  (803): She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient. http://tfl.nu/2q61
  Replies (22) Good night (5221) Bad night (1088)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  bc i get to see you. naked.

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  (203): are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid? (203): bc i get to see you. naked. http://tfl.nu/db7h
  Replies (24) Good night (8284) Bad night (1331)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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  (989): Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings. http://tfl.nu/rih3
  Replies (5) Good night (2576) Bad night (859)
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  (01): View more from

  He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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  (01): He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates. http://tfl.nu/mdzx
  Replies (6) Good night (2816) Bad night (848)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening

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  (540): I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening http://tfl.nu/76la
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (1531)
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  (213): View more from California

  putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had

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  (213): putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had http://tfl.nu/a4wf
  Replies (2) Good night (1447) Bad night (715)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.

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  (203): nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night. http://tfl.nu/ahny
  Replies (8) Good night (806) Bad night (1606)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.

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  (484): siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape. http://tfl.nu/kj0n
  Replies (3) Good night (1542) Bad night (516)
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  (650): View more from California

  My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.

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  (650): My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings. http://tfl.nu/futo
  Replies (14) Good night (2190) Bad night (784)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.

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  (860): The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop. http://tfl.nu/d7w3
  Replies (3) Good night (3069) Bad night (499)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT

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  (931): ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT http://tfl.nu/g173
  Replies (21) Good night (549) Bad night (331)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time

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  (410): I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time http://tfl.nu/zqpv
  Replies (0) Good night (232) Bad night (489)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...

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  (573): Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta... http://tfl.nu/9xfu
  Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (479)

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