i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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