Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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