It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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