I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
