I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
