there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So apparently I’m into choking now
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