This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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