turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Let's get the cat blown out
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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