yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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