You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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