He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
