i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
