windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
