There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
