Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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