so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
