Just fell off a train. Bad.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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