So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize