soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
