he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
