Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
