I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Randomize
