I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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