I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
