You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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