therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
