You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he thought i was a dude.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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