I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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