So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
