This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
