I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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