she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
