I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
